Gradual decline

It’s football season so that means we are extremely busy every single night and have 4 games a week to go to between two boys, plus Brendan coaches Jake’s team. We usually come together for dinner around 8:00 p.m. on non-game nights. It’s crazy, but we love it. Plus it’s my busy season with bows so if I’m not on the football fields, I’m doing bows. The kids are all at ages where homework is pretty demanding and I’m glad I only have 3 to worry about. I don’t know how moms do it with large families.

I’m afraid that Teta is not doing well at all. She sleeps most of the time now and has a VERY hard time eating anything. She pretty much only has a few spoonfuls of soups, oatmeal, and Ensure and even that she has had a very hard time keeping down these past few weeks. She used to go outside and get some fresh air in the backyard, but she isn’t able to walk more than a few steps now. She got a little walker to help her, but she doesn’t have the energy to move around very much. Her care now is no longer a matter of recovery. We just try to keep her as comfortable as possible and know that she doesn’t have much time left with us. Her mind is still good, when she is awake and alert so that is great, but it’s such a helpless feeling knowing that there is nothing left to do that could make her well again. I honestly NEVER IN A MILLION years thought that my grandma would go this way. She has always been such a strong and healthy and active person. Always full of energy and running around helping people. I know that we have all been blessed in our lives because of her sacrifices and for that I am truly thankful.

Explanation

I have been so bad about journaling, but I feel that I really need to document these next few months before the feelings and details get lost through the years. My only grandparent that I have ever known, my sweet Teta, was diagnosed with stomach cancer back in November 2005. My parents were in California to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and my brother's family and she got extremely weak and sick. They took her to the hospital and everything showed her having advanced stomach cancer. She had been sick off and on for quite some time, but never went to the doctor because she was too busy helping other people. They brought her to Utah to live with us since she lived pretty much on her own in California and couldn't take care of herself with this condition. It was so weird for me to see her like this. She never learned how to drive a car and therefore she walked everywhere. She was so strong and energetic. We really thought she would outlive us all. This cancer really destroyed her strong body quickly. She had surgery back in February to remove much of her stomach and the cancer. It seemed to have been successful, but the cancer had spread on a cellular level to other organs and there isn't much hope left for a recovery other than a miracle. My amazing mom has been taking care of her since then pretty much 24/7. It has felt like a very long and hard road, and I am starting this because it seems to be coming to an end very soon.