Amidst dance shoes, leotards, and braces

Later today I will be taking my daughter to her bi-weekly dance class taught by Colleen Collins Smith, an 80 year old dance legend and someone that I love so much for so many reasons.

26 years ago almost to the date, I started dancing in her studio myself. A neighbor invited me to go and I was hooked from that day on. I didn't even own a leotard or tights, but soon wore them almost every single day as I danced through life during my teenage years.

I remember being in Colleen's class at the old BYU Academy in Provo when my life changed FOR TIME AND ALL ETERNITY! I was in a beginning level class since I had only been dancing for a few weeks and had quite a ways to go before making it into "The Company." That class practiced right after mine and often I would see them coming in to wait for us to finish. I looked up to them and couldn't wait to move up into their world. They got to wear character shoes instead of just ballet slippers and did such fun routines with lifts because they had boys in that class.

Not long after I started, I saw HIM for the very first time. He came early to wait for his class, but not to stretch out. Oh no, why waste time doing that? It was the perfect time to mingle and flirt with all the girls. It was so weird, but I was instantly jealous. I didn't even know his name and I didn't even really like him (because it doesn't matter if you know someone for real...you can still like a total stranger, right?) He was tall and skinny, with braces and a dark blonde, mullett (not a long rock star mullett, but one nonetheless)...you 80's chicks remember the look. It wasn't love at first sight, but there was an instant connection that really perplexed me. There was SOMETHING very special with this guy. We never really met and we never talked until the following April during our end of the year Big Show dress rehearsal. It was then that he took the opportunity to introduce himself backstage in a very gentlemen-ly and romantic way......by using a bandana to flick me from behind! I turned around ready to smack whoever did that when I saw HIM standing there with a big smile and a "Hi, I'm Brendan."

Long story short, we became best of friends through the summer and a little spark developed 6 months later. I eventually did make it into "The Company" and we spent many years dancing and laughing on the dance floor. It's now been 25 years since we "got together" and today we celebrate our 20 year anniversary. I know now that the connection I felt those many years ago was much more than I realized.

We didn't meet that day.

We were reunited that day.

I know we were best friends before we came to earth and I believe that my spirit recognized his when we were blessed to find each other amidst dance shoes, leotards, and braces.

Today I celebrate 20 years of being married to my best friend and it just gets better and better with each passing day. We really GET each other and that is such a great feeling.

So I drive 30 minutes each way twice a week to take Allison to dance not only because she loves it and not only because I believe Colleen is the best around, but because with a story like ours, where else could OUR daughter dance?

Too many choices

I hate having too many choices. Especially when there is no right or wrong. Picking out an ice cream flavor is even difficult for me sometimes.

Years ago, back in ancient times, there was a little book called a journal that most people wrote down their daily happenings and deepest secrets. I used to do that......

Then scrapbooking became more than just sticking photos in magnetic albums. I ripped all mine out of them and started with the fabulous pastel colored cardstock and added a few stickers and yes, even cut my photos into shapes....what was I thinking? But then that became my journal of sorts. I did individual books for each of my 3 kids until they were each about 5 or 6 then started a family scrapbook with lots of great embellishments, nice coordinating paper, and lots of journaling. I used to feel good about that.......

Then this thing called blogging came around and it was so much faster to journal your thoughts and/or events, attach a few photos and Wah-lah! So fun to share with family and friends everywhere. No cost involved (although I will always be secretly addicted to paper. Always have been since I was a little girl.) But you get the idea. Loved it, but was sad to see my scrapbooks and supplies gathering a little dust.

Then this thing called facebook took over the world. At first I couldn't understand why people cared that someone was taking a nap. Or why someone would take the time to say something like, "had a great day shopping. and get tons of comments. Seriously.....didn't get the fascination. But alas, I got hooked. Why take the time to journal, or scrapbook, or blog, when a few sentences and a click to add photos will do? I'm not even going to attempt to look into Twitter. I can't take it! Aaaahh!!!!!

So what to do is the question. Some things are just too private and personal to share that a journal still seems like a good idea once in a while. Scrapbooking will always be a love of mine and I have way too much stuff to just give it up completely. I love blogging because it can eventually be published into a book (if I ever figure that one out) and it's a great way for me to keep up with our many family and friends that don't live close by. But facebook is a fun way to post photos and I love being able to keep in touch with friends and my kids' friends who I may not see very often without having to "bug" them too much. It's been an awesome tool to see what Jordan is up to in college. Going to a weekly email on his mission is going to kill me!

So if anyone has any brilliant ideas as to what choice is best or how to combine them to be more efficient I welcome your comments. It's too much to keep up with and I need to get back to living my life and get off the computer!!!!

Two little girls....

As I sit today missing my son who has moved away to college, I can't help but count my blessings that he is only 30 minutes away and I can talk to him whenever I want. It's just different, and I hate it. I don't think you actually realize that when you give birth to that beautiful little baby that the goal is for them to become independant of you and LEAVE YOU! But it's what is "supposed" to happen. So again, I count my blessings.

But what isn't supposed to happen is for little ones to leave earth so soon. Today would be Livvy's 13th birthday. Sweet, beautiful, funny, little Livvy. Our neighbor and Allison's bestest buddy.

They were attached from head to toe. Neither one of them would eat unless they were together. They loved putting on bright pink lipstick and playing dress up everyday. They sang silly songs and made up little dances to them. And on and on they would play from sun up to sun down always together...always laughing...until that fateful summer day a little over 9 years ago. It's not for us to question and I know we don't understand the full picture, but it's hard to figure out why the Lord needed her back so soon.

Livvy we treasure every single memory and photgraph that we have of you. Allison's life was touched forever by you and we will never forget you. Happy Birthday Olivia Newton John, as Brendan used to always teasingly call her.

Today also marks 6 months since Gracie left her earthly life. 6 months....that's such a long time. Tom and Michele's strength and testimony are an example to us all. Gracie is the toughest little girl I know and I know that she is blessing heaven with her little spunk. I just wish we could all see it and enjoy her with us. She was such a miracle from the beginning. Once she was home, I really thought that she had beat the odds and was here to stay. She was such a little fighter and I feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity to know her just a little bit during her short earthly stay. But again, we have to have faith and trust in the Lord's wisdom and plan.

Two little girls that touched our family forever.

Two little girls that we will never forget.

Two little girls that suffered more than their share on this earth so that the rest of us could reflect more closely on our blessings.

Two little girls that helped us remember what is really important in this life.

Two little girls who are now two little angels in heaven watching over all of us and helping us try harder to be worthy to see them again.