Email sent from Brendan to all of his family
From: Brendan Smith
Sent: Monday, October 23, 2006 12:54 pm
This morning at 12:14am Leslie’s grandma passed away at our home. We are still working on the details for her funeral but it will probably be this Saturday. It was a bit traumatic for the kids but they are doing fine. We are a little worried about Angie. She cared for religiously for over a year with very little sleep and is utterly worn out. This has hit her very hard. Keep us in your prayers.
Love Brendan
Monday, October 23, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Thankful for so much.
A little update on Teta's condition….things are going from bad to worse quickly. The tumor in her abdomen has grown at such a fast rate, that it actually broke through her skin and has started oozing out a little each day. She asks for drinks (cold ones) quite frequently which is very unusual for her. Not only does she usually not want anything to eat or drink, but room temperature is even too cold for her most of the time. The nurses are shocked that she is comfortable because they said that most patients in her condition are in a lot of pain so they have brought pain medication just in case it starts up in the middle of the night. A dry mouth, they said, is very common at her stage and is why she is asking for frequent drinks.
I am grateful for the knowledge that I have of an eternal plan for all of us and that I know that Teta will be in a better place soon and that I will be with her again where she will be whole and well and active. I am especially thankful for the gospel that she accepted so many years ago and that through her I was given the opportunity to have it my whole life. She sacrificed so much so that the rest of us could live in a land of promise and opportunity. All that I have I owe to her and I will always treasure her for that. I’m so glad that her memory will always keep us close as a fmily. .I know that our Heavenly Father lives and that He loves each one of us and that He sent us to help each other in this life and together return to Him. I am also thankful for these trials and experiences that force us to remember that there is so much more to life than our daily routines and hectic schedules. That family is what matters and that we are all in this together.
I am grateful for the knowledge that I have of an eternal plan for all of us and that I know that Teta will be in a better place soon and that I will be with her again where she will be whole and well and active. I am especially thankful for the gospel that she accepted so many years ago and that through her I was given the opportunity to have it my whole life. She sacrificed so much so that the rest of us could live in a land of promise and opportunity. All that I have I owe to her and I will always treasure her for that. I’m so glad that her memory will always keep us close as a fmily. .I know that our Heavenly Father lives and that He loves each one of us and that He sent us to help each other in this life and together return to Him. I am also thankful for these trials and experiences that force us to remember that there is so much more to life than our daily routines and hectic schedules. That family is what matters and that we are all in this together.
Monday, October 9, 2006
Cousin to Cousin
An e-mail I sent to my cousin Veronica in Florida...
Hi Vero!
I really hope it works out for you to come out. Too bad that your whole family can’t make it, but I know exactly how that is. The only way we were all able to go to Florida was that Brendan had three frequent flyer tickets he had accumulated through work. Anyway, about Teta…there are great nurses that come in 3 times a day to help move Teta from her bed to the living room so she can be more with the family. They also change her and bathe her every other day. Well, a few days ago, they discovered a large grapefruit size lump right above her stomach. It’s red and it hurts Teta a little bit. They said that it’s a large tumor that has come back and is growing quickly every day. They said that at the rate it is growing, it will soon go up into her esophagus and make it almost impossible for her to swallow anything. Just this past Saturday, she started complaining about chest pains when she swallows and her food/drink intake has slowed down to almost nothing. There is nothing they can do at this point. Teta’s sister Carmen is coming from Guatemala on Thursday and I think your parents are thinking of coming by the end of the month. I really hope that it’s not too late by then. I’m not sure if Tony will come or not. I really don’t think he can handle all of this – emotionally. I know that it’s important to say goodbye --- the nurses (and Brendan’s mom who just lost her own mother six months ago) all say that a person will hold on suffering until relationships are mended and/or goodbyes are said and they are given “permission” to pass on. It's going to be hard since her family lives Florida, California, and Guatemala. I just hope we can get together to honor her, especially since there aren’t very many of us. Well, you do what you can and pass the word on to your family. I’ll keep in touch as much as I can.
Love you,
Leslie
Hi Vero!
I really hope it works out for you to come out. Too bad that your whole family can’t make it, but I know exactly how that is. The only way we were all able to go to Florida was that Brendan had three frequent flyer tickets he had accumulated through work. Anyway, about Teta…there are great nurses that come in 3 times a day to help move Teta from her bed to the living room so she can be more with the family. They also change her and bathe her every other day. Well, a few days ago, they discovered a large grapefruit size lump right above her stomach. It’s red and it hurts Teta a little bit. They said that it’s a large tumor that has come back and is growing quickly every day. They said that at the rate it is growing, it will soon go up into her esophagus and make it almost impossible for her to swallow anything. Just this past Saturday, she started complaining about chest pains when she swallows and her food/drink intake has slowed down to almost nothing. There is nothing they can do at this point. Teta’s sister Carmen is coming from Guatemala on Thursday and I think your parents are thinking of coming by the end of the month. I really hope that it’s not too late by then. I’m not sure if Tony will come or not. I really don’t think he can handle all of this – emotionally. I know that it’s important to say goodbye --- the nurses (and Brendan’s mom who just lost her own mother six months ago) all say that a person will hold on suffering until relationships are mended and/or goodbyes are said and they are given “permission” to pass on. It's going to be hard since her family lives Florida, California, and Guatemala. I just hope we can get together to honor her, especially since there aren’t very many of us. Well, you do what you can and pass the word on to your family. I’ll keep in touch as much as I can.
Love you,
Leslie
Friday, October 6, 2006
Slowly shutting down
It looks like Teta's body is slowly shutting down and she is losing abilities and functions almost daily. She is completely bedridden now and cannot get up at all. My mom has to feed her because there is no way she can hold a spoon or cup. She has a very hard time swallowing and is only drinking a few sips a day through a spoon. She can only speak a few words at a time in a very quiet whisper. She still recognizes all of us, but is alert and awake so infrequently, that I don’t know how much she really sees of us. Thank goodness, she is not in a lot of pain, and is able to rest comfortably most of the day.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Gradual decline
It’s football season so that means we are extremely busy every single night and have 4 games a week to go to between two boys, plus Brendan coaches Jake’s team. We usually come together for dinner around 8:00 p.m. on non-game nights. It’s crazy, but we love it. Plus it’s my busy season with bows so if I’m not on the football fields, I’m doing bows. The kids are all at ages where homework is pretty demanding and I’m glad I only have 3 to worry about. I don’t know how moms do it with large families.
I’m afraid that Teta is not doing well at all. She sleeps most of the time now and has a VERY hard time eating anything. She pretty much only has a few spoonfuls of soups, oatmeal, and Ensure and even that she has had a very hard time keeping down these past few weeks. She used to go outside and get some fresh air in the backyard, but she isn’t able to walk more than a few steps now. She got a little walker to help her, but she doesn’t have the energy to move around very much. Her care now is no longer a matter of recovery. We just try to keep her as comfortable as possible and know that she doesn’t have much time left with us. Her mind is still good, when she is awake and alert so that is great, but it’s such a helpless feeling knowing that there is nothing left to do that could make her well again. I honestly NEVER IN A MILLION years thought that my grandma would go this way. She has always been such a strong and healthy and active person. Always full of energy and running around helping people. I know that we have all been blessed in our lives because of her sacrifices and for that I am truly thankful.
I’m afraid that Teta is not doing well at all. She sleeps most of the time now and has a VERY hard time eating anything. She pretty much only has a few spoonfuls of soups, oatmeal, and Ensure and even that she has had a very hard time keeping down these past few weeks. She used to go outside and get some fresh air in the backyard, but she isn’t able to walk more than a few steps now. She got a little walker to help her, but she doesn’t have the energy to move around very much. Her care now is no longer a matter of recovery. We just try to keep her as comfortable as possible and know that she doesn’t have much time left with us. Her mind is still good, when she is awake and alert so that is great, but it’s such a helpless feeling knowing that there is nothing left to do that could make her well again. I honestly NEVER IN A MILLION years thought that my grandma would go this way. She has always been such a strong and healthy and active person. Always full of energy and running around helping people. I know that we have all been blessed in our lives because of her sacrifices and for that I am truly thankful.
Friday, September 1, 2006
Explanation
I have been so bad about journaling, but I feel that I really need to document these next few months before the feelings and details get lost through the years. My only grandparent that I have ever known, my sweet Teta, was diagnosed with stomach cancer back in November 2005. My parents were in California to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and my brother's family and she got extremely weak and sick. They took her to the hospital and everything showed her having advanced stomach cancer. She had been sick off and on for quite some time, but never went to the doctor because she was too busy helping other people. They brought her to Utah to live with us since she lived pretty much on her own in California and couldn't take care of herself with this condition. It was so weird for me to see her like this. She never learned how to drive a car and therefore she walked everywhere. She was so strong and energetic. We really thought she would outlive us all. This cancer really destroyed her strong body quickly. She had surgery back in February to remove much of her stomach and the cancer. It seemed to have been successful, but the cancer had spread on a cellular level to other organs and there isn't much hope left for a recovery other than a miracle. My amazing mom has been taking care of her since then pretty much 24/7. It has felt like a very long and hard road, and I am starting this because it seems to be coming to an end very soon.
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