She Lives!

My dear, sweet, loving, wonderful, amazing, grandma "Teta" passed away peacefully in our home on October 23, 2006 at 12:14 a.m. at the age of 85. The following is a re-cap of the events and feelings as best as I can put them down in words.

It has been a long and hard last two weeks. We had family start staying with us since October 17th and the last few left yesterday morning. It was absolutely wonderful being together with extended family from Guatemala, California and Florida through this time. It has just been exhausting though staying up late with all of them each night and still trying to have a semi normal life in the day with the kids, school, activities, and trying to plan a funeral. We haven’t had a routine for so long.

It was amazing how my grandma was able to hold on until all of her family that she loved was able to fly in and be by her side. I’m thankful that our Heavenly Father allowed her to stay and she was able to look into each of our eyes and say goodbye. She couldn’t talk at all the last week or so, but she was able to whisper these last words to me, "Cuida a tu mama," “take care of your mom” the day before she passed away.

Her breathing was very labored on Sunday afternoon and we knew she didn’t have much time. My brother, Carlos gave her a blessing on Sunday evening and blessed her to be able to go in peace and know that we would all be ok. Her breathing returned to normal before the blessing was even over. It was an amazingly spiritual experience. You could physically feel the burning of the spirit in her room. Carlos had to catch a plane back to California that night and it was really hard for him to say goodbye because he knew the next time he saw her would be at her funeral. Her breathing started slowing down right after midnight and my mom ran out to her family room where I was talking with my uncle and frantically told me to come. We both rushed in and found Teta breathing kind of like a fish out of water, lightly gasping for air, but without anything going in her lungs. I immediately called Brendan who was asleep upstairs to wake everybody up in the house and have them come down. We had people sleeping everywhere including the office and so he quickly ran around and knocked on all the doors. He said that he was awake and had actually just gotten out of bed a minute or so before I called and knew that something was happening. He says that he felt her presence for just a brief minute and knew she was gone. She took her last breath at 12:14 Monday morning just 4 hours after the blessing with ALL of us around her. My mom was blessed to keep a peace about her and a sharp mind. She was the one that thought to look at the clock to document her time of death. We immediately called Carlos in California and Ed, who had gone back home to be with his family in Cedar Hills (only 15 minutes)away. He quickly came back over which was so good because the minute the mortician's took away my grandma's body, my mom just lost it. I really think she had a nervous breakdown from all the stress and all the emotion. She fainted and it took a minute for her to come back. She was incosoleable. Ed gave her a blessing which was so beautiful. We were all up together until about 4:00 a.m. My mom spent a somewhat peaceful night after that. We were so blessed to have so much family supporting each other. Friends and neighbors brought food for the next few days which was so wonderful.

Teta looked absolutely beautiful at the funeral home when we saw her a few days later. I don’t know what the morticians did or how, but it was incredible. Her appearance had changed from bad to worse every single day the last 3-4 days and then almost every hour right before our eyes the last day. Cancer is a horrible way to die and I hope that I never have to witness anyone else that I love go through that. Her funeral was mostly in Spanish, but there were headsets with an English translation. All the great grandkids said one thing they loved about their grandma Teta. Of course Jordan went first as he’s the oldest and it broke my heart to see him come undone. It was the first time that he had let his emotions out and it was really hard. After all 8 of them said something they all sang Families Can Be Together Forever and I am a Child of God. It was so cute. Maria, Ed’s wife, was holding their youngest because he’s just two and had to join in on the song to help with the volume because my three kids had a hard time getting through it. My mom was very blessed to have the spirit with her and was able to stay really composed while she told a beautiful life story. Ed gave the best talk that I have ever heard and paid a beautiful tribute to my grandma. Brendan, Maria, and Carlos sang an arrangement of I Know that My Redeemer Lives – holy cow, it was breathtaking!!!! Carlos sang the second verse by himself in Spanish and changed the words a little bit for example, “She has gone, our mansion to prepare…” It was so beautiful!!!! My dad dedicated her grave at the Orem City Cemetary. We took lots of pictures and shared many special moments as a family.

I finally feel that she has left the earth and is resting from her cares in a beautiful place with her many loved ones that have gone on before her. I of course have known that all along, but I just felt uneasy the first few days after she died. I didn’t feel like she had “arrived” yet and I was nervous for her current state. It wasn’t until I went with my mom to the mortuary 4 days later to give the ok on how she was dressed and done up that I finally felt at peace. I felt absolutely no connection to the body in the coffin and knew that it was because she was no longer here. It was a much needed answer to my prayers. It’s hard to explain because I never questioned where she was going, but I just felt like it is a process and it took her a while to get through it. It’s still really weird to think that she is really gone and that she won’t be coming back for Christmas like she always did.

I want to explain how Teta got her name to my future family who may never know me. I am the oldest of her grandchildren (yes, she LOVED me and SPOILED me my whole life!) My mom tried to teach me how to say "Abuelita" which is an endearing way of saying grandma in spanish. Well, I wasn't quite two and apparently my speaking skills weren't quite there either. I tried and tried but all that came out was "Teta." Somehow it stuck and the rest of her grandchildren and great grandchildren came to know her as Teta. My brother Ed starting shortening and pluralizing everyone's names when he was a teenager. Our Momma and Daddy became Moms and Dads and Teta became known as Tates! Whatever name she had, it still was said with much love and respect. What a wonderful woman she was and what a legacy that she left behind for us! She was ALWAYS thinking of others and never herself. She lived her whole life in the service of her family and friends and even strangers. It was just about two years ago that she was here and she went out and weeded my whole yard a little at a time a little each day. She would often ask me if I wanted her to make dinner for us (which how do you turn down an offer like that.) She never had much, but always gave everything that she had. She was the first generation to accept the gospel in my family. She left her home country to come to the US, recently widowed and penniless, to give her kids and future grandkids a better life. She supported herself and her family by using her amazing sewing skills. She sewed many dresses for me. A few of my formals she made from a little sketch that I would make up and then do it perfectly without a pattern! In her later years she worked helping people with their children and their household chores. Sometimes for money, sometimes just to help them out. Whatever she made, she used to buy things for her family...never anything for herself. She loved us all so much and always praised us and told us how proud she was of us. She was our number one cheerleader, always standing on the sidelines of our lives supporting us, loving us, and doing whatever she could behind the scenes to make our lives better. I'm really going to miss that! I will always love her and will never take for granted all of my blessings that I have because of her life. It was a wonderful life, and we will miss her terribly, but I know that she lives on and I will hug her again someday!