Missing Wallet/Lesson learned

A few weeks ago Jake came home from scouts with a bunch of friends. I didn’t feel good about letting him hang out in his room…I don't know why, but I just didn’t have a good feeling about them that night. Anyway, to back up just a bit, on Wednesday Jake was getting ready to go with a friend to the Lehi Varsity basketball game and went up to get his money for admission. He was up there for a long time so I went up to see what was taking so long. He was all upset because he couldn't find his wallet. He had over $100.00 in it and it was a sick feeling for us all. I helped search his room and the rest of the house. It was nowhere. I was a little upset with him for losing it and not being responsible and so he was not able to go to the game that night. Anyway, the next day I went through every inch of our house and still no wallet. My mom kept bugging me to call the school and see if anything had been turned in even though Jake swore he had never taken his wallet to school. Anyway, just to cover all the bases, I called and the principal said that a wallet had been turned in few weeks before with about $80.00 in it. He called Jake down to identify it but it wasn't his. About two hours later the principal called me back and said that he didn't have Jake's wallet, but he had most of his money! I guess that Jake had to explain to all of his friends why he had been called to the principals office and that got them all talking about his missing wallet. One of his friends suspected that a mutual friend had taken it. He asked him if he had taken it and the reply was, "maybe, maybe not." That was enough for him to report it to the principal's office and this other kid was called in immediately. He confessed that he had stolen Jake's wallet...from his room...that exact night they were all in there after scouts! He had $83.00 on him and he gave it to the principal who then gave it to Jake. His dad called us afterschool and asked to come over with his son to meet with Brendan and I and Jake. (The principal had left them a message earlier describing the whole thing.) Anyway, he returned Jake's wallet and they said they would go to his savings account and bring us the missing $18.00. The dad was in tears and assured us that they had not raised their son to be like this. It was so sad. I felt SO bad for the parents! What a horrible thing to have to deal with. We praised the boy for having the courage to come forth with the truth, but also let him know that Jake had spent the last three months earning that money by studying his butt off and getting a 4.0. We also said that Jake had been grounded from the game last night and it had really devastated him that a friend would do something like that to him. All in all, we're grateful that Jake got his money back and that we were not on the other end of this issue. We also gave a thank you card and a $10.00 reward to the kid who told the principal ($5.00 from us and $5.00 from Jake). I can't stop thinking about how hard it would be to deal with that as a parent. I'll think twice the next time I complain about Jordan or Allison getting in trouble for talking too much in class.

Football Summary 2006

Even though I posted all of this information, it was all written by Brendan. I had saved all of these emails that he sent to his family each week and so then I just copied them onto this post. I'm so glad that he did this since I couldn't possibly summarize a football game like he does. He coached Jordan for three years so it was a tough year to see "his boys" go on to high school and turn them over to other coaches. But it has also been a great time to be able to coach Jake's team and work with all of his friends.

Friday, August 18, 2006 9:39 AM

Well tonight is the big first game for Lehi. They are playing Timpanogos and Jordan will be suiting up for the game. He will only get playing time if they are way up or way down but that’s a real honor to get to suit up as a sophomore. Last year Lehi suited 2 sophomores for varsity and this year they are suiting 8, including Jordan.

Jordan made the newspaper for his performance in the purple/white game last week. They said it was nice to see the up and coming stars and they recognized Jordan for helping keep the purple team in the game by driving the ball down into field/goal range. That was cool to see Jordan’s name in black and white for football.

Jake has a scrimmage tonight from 6 to 8. Both boys were so excited last night that they were up goofing-off and making noise ‘till 11:15. I will miss the first part of Jordan’s game because of the scrimmage but I’ll be there as soon as I can.


Newspaper article on Jordan playing football
Thursday, August 17, 2006
DEAN VON MEMMOTT - SPORTS CORRESPONDENT
In the Lehi football team's annual Purple-White Scrimmage Saturday, the Whites prevailed 14-7 over the Purples.
Lehi coach Joe Hayes said the scrimmage "was an opportunity to see how our kids could play under game conditions."
The contest saw four Pioneers show what they could do at quarterback. Hayes said, "Derek Sergent will be our starting quarterback. It was nice to see what Chris Searle, Jordan Smith and Jon Benight could do as quarterbacks." Searle demonstrated in the scrimmage's first three minutes why he could be a candidate for quarterback later on in the season. At 9:21, he threw a 30-yard touchdown pass for the Purples.
Sargent made his quarterback debut right after the Purple touchdown. Sargent's handoffs to Smith, Ben Sunderland and Nick Nelson gave the Whites much yardage in the first quarter, but the Purple defense kept them from putting the ball into the end zone that period. The Purple defense's success against the Whites finally came to an end late in the second half. With two minutes remaining to the break, Sargent connected a 70-yard pass to Henrique Silva for a touchdown. A Jason Demke extra-point kick tied the game at seven. On a first-down play, Sunderland made an interception, but the turnover didn't enable the Whites to tack on an insurance touchdown before halftime. Riley Sullivan stopped Sargent at the Purple 30-yard line as the clock expired. Though Sargent secured a lot of yardage for the Whites in the third period, the Purple defense kept them from breaking the tie until 1:42, when the White quarterback passed nine yards to Silva for a touchdown.
In the fourth quarter, the White defense kept the Purple in check. Clint Ash kept nailing ball carriers for losses in yardage.
The closest the Purples came to scoring in the fourth quarter was when Smith guided them to the White 20, where the White defense compelled them to gamble on a goal attempt that failed. Though the score was close, Benight was given a chance to quarterback the White offense through much of the final quarter. Lehi will open the season Friday with a home stand against Timpanogos

Sent: Monday, August 21, 2006 10:10 AM

Football is such a fun & busy time of year for us that we hardly have time to breathe but we love every minute of it.

Lehi lost 21 to 16 to Timpanogos Friday but it really was a great game, and it’s a preseason game as Timpanogos is 5A. Lehi was ahead 10 to 7 at the half but blew the game in the second half when the QB threw an interception that was returned for a touchdown and then threw another one that resulted in a touchdown. Lehi had the ball down by five points with about 2 minutes left but just couldn’t get it done. The best part was that Jordan got to suit up for the game, an honor VERY FEW SOPHOMORES get at Lehi. It was fun. Jake will have his first game on the 29 or 30th against Linden, the schedule is not final yet but I’ll let you know how it goes. Jordan’s next game is this Friday vs Snow Canyon in St. George at 4pm!!! That will be a hot one.

Sent: Friday, September 01, 2006 1:45 PM

Well we had a very busy day yesterday with THREE football games for our two boys.

First was the JV game – Jordan got to play safety and did a very good job – he won 38 to 12.

Second was the Sophomore game – Jordan had a very good game completing about 15 passes for many yards, but he was sacked about 15 times and O-line had a HORRIBLE game – I didn’t get to see the whole game because of Jake’s game but they lost that one by about three touchdowns.

Jake’s game was AWESOME. The Defense was UNREAL – stopping the Lindon team to about 3 or 4 first downs the entire game. Jake got injured on the SECOND play of the game taking a vicious hit to the calf that really bruised his calf and hurt his knee. He fumbled as the hit came in and we lost the ball but he was just BARELY able to go back in when we got the ball back. He was a real WARRIOR and LEADER in the game. He would run for 11 yards full speed running over tacklers and then get up and LIMP back to the huddle looking like his leg was broken and then he would lead the offense, repositioning kids in the wrong formation, making sure everyone knew their assignments, and making plays when the plays were called wrong by the coach (that’s me – oops), or when they were just screwed up plays. He threw a few very good passes and WE WON 20-0 – a great start for the season. Everyone played hard and intelligently – it was awesome – and I’m very proud of my boys – especially Jake, what a trooper.

Well – on to the Varsity game tonight vs. Tooele – GO PIONEERS! (I never thought I’d be saying THAT 20 years ago).

Sent: Monday, September 11, 2006 2:04 PM

Once again this past week was one of good and bad for football. Jordan’s sophomore team beat AF 7-0. If you will remember last year’s game with AF, we lost by one point in double overtime – so that was a great win. Jordan got to start at SS and QB for that game so he was EXHAUSTED after the game. He had some great runs a passes and led the team very well. The sophomore coach told him that this is the first time ANY team that he has coached has beaten an AF team – so that’s cool too. Way to go Jordan. Jordan didn’t get to play JV this week because the games were at the same time on opposite fields – but JV lost anyway. It was homecoming for Varsity so that was cool – but they lost by about 45 to 32 – something like that anyway and Jordan was faithfully on the sidelines as always. Jordan will play Orem this week – tough schedule.

Jakes game was a tough loss. He had some awesome passes and played tough on defense. He also played AF. They were a very BIG team but we hung in there till the refs took the game from us (that’s totally normal for AF games as almost all the refs in our league come from AF and hate the pioneers because we are rivals). I usually hate to completely blame a loss on the refs but this one really took the cake. There was no league rep at the game (A LEAGUE REQUIREMENT) so the refs thought it would be okay to CHEER FOR AF from the field. It got so bad at one point that I got an ‘unsportsmanlike conduct personal foul’ for telling the ref “great job coaching your kids ref” when he pointed and moved two players into the correct position for the play – and they were both moving prior to and during the snap – this after he called a ‘motion’ penalty on us because my kid went in motion after only being set for about ½ a second instead of a full second (that’s how he described it). Anyway, once I got the ‘unsportsmanlike’ penalty the refs had a little conference and decided not to give us a single call in our favor the rest of the game. They would just say what they saw, like: “that was pass interference” to our kids and then not call it or enforce it. At one point the kids didn’t even know if Offense or Defense was supposed to be on the field because of comments by the refs. IT WAS UNREAL. At the end of the game I had one mom – who had helped with the chains – come up to me in tears because of the things she heard from the refs. I immediately filed a complaint to the league – but nothing will happen. I’ve had problems with these same refs for years and no results. The problem is they have no accountability, they get to CHOOSE the games they ref, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I don’t know how they sleep at night treating 7th graders that way. Needless to say we lost – but we hung in there and played hard

Sent: Friday, September 15, 2006 9:06 AM

By game time yesterday Jordan was finally feeling great and it really showed on the field. It was a very rainy muddy game but it was a fun one. Lehi's defense was AWESOME with a couple kids getting over 5 sacks each (Jordan is play strong safety on defense and of course QB on offense). Anyway, Jordan had a great game on both sides of the ball and Lehi beat Orem 19-0. At the very end of the game Orem broke away on a 15 yard run and Jordan made a SWEET, shut-out saving tackle to get the ball back and run the clock out. It really wears him out playing both sides ALL GAME LONG - which he is not used to. He played a little safety in past years but seldom did he play the entire game that way, it was awesome - looking forward to Springville next week.

Sent: Monday, September 25, 2006 2:41

Jordan had an awesome game last week vs. Springville. If you remember last year Springville was not much of a problem, it was the same this year as we won 35-6. Jordan scored a rushing touchdown, had about 7 tackles and a pick on defense, and an overall spectacular game passing etc. The JV team won their game 22-20 in a very hard fought game but Varsity lost 22-15 and is still completely defeated. They have no chance this week either. It doesn’t look good for the head coach as they haven’t won a game since the season opener last year and many parents etc. are fed up. We shall see. Jordan will have a BIG game this week vs. Timpview. Last year he lost by a touchdown in a hard fought game with Timpview running over 9 minutes off the clock in the fourth quarter to seal the deal. So far the sophomores are undefeated in region play and Timpview will be their toughest region game of the year. It should be all down hill from here.

Jake had a good individual game but the offensive line could not block and he was sacked repeatedly. He has bruises all up and down his arms to prove it. I just hope that I’m not accused of beating him. His team has now made it through the 3 toughest teams in his league (including 2 lone peak teams) and should have a bit easier time of it from here on out. Jake is a real trooper and continues to play with toughness and determination.

I know you all have loyalties to Timpview, but Family comes first right? Wish Jordan luck this week.
Love Brendan

Sent: Thursday, October 05, 2006 10:24 AM

This update is a bit early as we’ve had no games this week yet but I just wanted to let you know about Jordan. Jordan took a bit ‘LATE HIT’ in practice on Tuesday in a practice where he was not supposed to be hit AT ALL. He suffered a separated LEFT shoulder (thankfully not his throwing shoulder) and is in a lot of pain. It would have been much better if he just had a dislocation but it’s worse than that. The doctor said that he can still play football but he will have to play through the pain as it won’t heal for about two Months. He probably won’t be able to play defense. He will play PROVO today and they really need to win this game to be a top team in their division. Jordan will be playing at 6:00 pm Utah time so please pray for him so that he will still be able to perform to his best ability and not injure his shoulder any further. Thanks for all your support, Brendan

Sent: Friday, October 06, 2006 12:27 PM

Thank you for all your thoughts and prayer for Jordan yesterday. It was a very tough fought game with Provo. Contrary to what I told you yesterday the coaches played Jordan on EVERY play except Kick-off and Kick-return. He had a very good game with one rushing touchdown and one passing touchdown. Unfortunately, on the PAT after their first touchdown the snap was high and went right to the kicker who tried to run it but failed. They were up by 20 to 7 at one point but Provo came back to with two LUCKY touchdowns to win the game 21-20 – a heartbreaking loss for my boys. Jordan played so well you couldn’t tell he was even hurt except for a few tackles where he couldn’t hit quite as hard as usual and just held on to wrestle the guy down. However, I’m afraid that he aggravated his injury somewhat possibly making the separation worse. He was very sore after the game but we won’t know how bad he is till the trainers and doctor look at him hopefully today.

Tonight he will be the back-up QB in the varsity game and will probably be holding. He has another game Tuesday because it’s UEA then another Varsity game Wednesday.

The most surprising thing of all is that, even with SO MUCH FOOTBALL, he has a 3.92 right now with only two A minuses and both of them are at 92%, he could possibly get a 4.0 again if he continues to work hard, and we’re not talking about easy classes either. He has English, Algebra II, Biology, History, Spanish I, Debate, PE, and Seminary.

Oh, and by the way, Jake has a 4.0 right now too.

Well, enough bragging about my kids, I just can’t help being proud of all they are accomplishing and who they are becoming. We are very blessed.

Thanks again for your support, your thoughts and your prayers. Love Brendan

Sent: Friday, October 13, 2006 8:38 AM

Most of you already know because many of you were at the game this week – thanks again for your support. Jordan started JV and sophomore in a combined JV/Sophomore game this past week vs Park City. Park City only has a JV team so Lehi decided to play our JV team in the first half and our sophomore team in the second half. This game didn’t count as it’s UEA break and park city is a 3A school, it was a fun game though. Jordan was the ONLY player that played the ENTIRE game. He led Lehi to a touchdown on the first drive of the game to take a 7-0 lead into halftime with the JV team. Jordan had an okay game but you could tell that he was not himself due to his injury. He had some very good runs and threw a 50 yard touchdown pass in the 3rd quarter with the sophomore team to take the lead at 14-7. In the fourth quarter Park City blocked a punt and got the ball with very good field position. They scored after about three plays and went for the win with a successful two point conversion to take the lead 15-14 – what an aggressive call by park city with only 2 minutes left, you have to hand it to them for that. Lehi got the ball back and tried to make a drive out of it but Jordan threw a pick with about 30 seconds left and park city took a knee to win, but you half to remember they won it in the second half with their JV team against our sophomore, a very good showing for Lehi.

Jordan’s shoulder is still sore but he’s doing okay. He did not play defense this week and will not play it the rest of the year so that he can protect his shoulder. The coaches have asked him to start BOTH JV and sophomore next week VS Payson. The games are back-to-back at 3:30 and 6:00, and the JV wear a different uniform than the sophomores so Jordan will have about 5 minutes to change his pads from one uniform to the other – that will be the toughest part of it. Lehi should easily win both games and they will probably be the best games of the year. He’ll be tired but he can handle it if his shoulder can.

I won’t be able to see the Payson games because Jake has a game at the same time.

Sent: Friday, October 20, 2006 10:17 AM

Jordan played his last Sophomore game last night vs. Payson and he won the game 41-8. What an awesome way to finish the season. Jordan threw the ball VERY WELL and had a touchdown pass for over 60 yards at one point. His quote to me was “I never even fell on my shoulder the whole game”. After the big win they celebrated on the field for a few minutes and did a tribute to the past coaches until Payson turned the light out on them so some of the parent brought their cars around and turned the light on for the celebration. Jordan said the bus ride home was ‘AWESOME AND CRAZY’. They are all ready to go and take state in two years.

Thanks for all your support this season.

She Lives!

My dear, sweet, loving, wonderful, amazing, grandma "Teta" passed away peacefully in our home on October 23, 2006 at 12:14 a.m. at the age of 85. The following is a re-cap of the events and feelings as best as I can put them down in words.

It has been a long and hard last two weeks. We had family start staying with us since October 17th and the last few left yesterday morning. It was absolutely wonderful being together with extended family from Guatemala, California and Florida through this time. It has just been exhausting though staying up late with all of them each night and still trying to have a semi normal life in the day with the kids, school, activities, and trying to plan a funeral. We haven’t had a routine for so long.

It was amazing how my grandma was able to hold on until all of her family that she loved was able to fly in and be by her side. I’m thankful that our Heavenly Father allowed her to stay and she was able to look into each of our eyes and say goodbye. She couldn’t talk at all the last week or so, but she was able to whisper these last words to me, "Cuida a tu mama," “take care of your mom” the day before she passed away.

Her breathing was very labored on Sunday afternoon and we knew she didn’t have much time. My brother, Carlos gave her a blessing on Sunday evening and blessed her to be able to go in peace and know that we would all be ok. Her breathing returned to normal before the blessing was even over. It was an amazingly spiritual experience. You could physically feel the burning of the spirit in her room. Carlos had to catch a plane back to California that night and it was really hard for him to say goodbye because he knew the next time he saw her would be at her funeral. Her breathing started slowing down right after midnight and my mom ran out to her family room where I was talking with my uncle and frantically told me to come. We both rushed in and found Teta breathing kind of like a fish out of water, lightly gasping for air, but without anything going in her lungs. I immediately called Brendan who was asleep upstairs to wake everybody up in the house and have them come down. We had people sleeping everywhere including the office and so he quickly ran around and knocked on all the doors. He said that he was awake and had actually just gotten out of bed a minute or so before I called and knew that something was happening. He says that he felt her presence for just a brief minute and knew she was gone. She took her last breath at 12:14 Monday morning just 4 hours after the blessing with ALL of us around her. My mom was blessed to keep a peace about her and a sharp mind. She was the one that thought to look at the clock to document her time of death. We immediately called Carlos in California and Ed, who had gone back home to be with his family in Cedar Hills (only 15 minutes)away. He quickly came back over which was so good because the minute the mortician's took away my grandma's body, my mom just lost it. I really think she had a nervous breakdown from all the stress and all the emotion. She fainted and it took a minute for her to come back. She was incosoleable. Ed gave her a blessing which was so beautiful. We were all up together until about 4:00 a.m. My mom spent a somewhat peaceful night after that. We were so blessed to have so much family supporting each other. Friends and neighbors brought food for the next few days which was so wonderful.

Teta looked absolutely beautiful at the funeral home when we saw her a few days later. I don’t know what the morticians did or how, but it was incredible. Her appearance had changed from bad to worse every single day the last 3-4 days and then almost every hour right before our eyes the last day. Cancer is a horrible way to die and I hope that I never have to witness anyone else that I love go through that. Her funeral was mostly in Spanish, but there were headsets with an English translation. All the great grandkids said one thing they loved about their grandma Teta. Of course Jordan went first as he’s the oldest and it broke my heart to see him come undone. It was the first time that he had let his emotions out and it was really hard. After all 8 of them said something they all sang Families Can Be Together Forever and I am a Child of God. It was so cute. Maria, Ed’s wife, was holding their youngest because he’s just two and had to join in on the song to help with the volume because my three kids had a hard time getting through it. My mom was very blessed to have the spirit with her and was able to stay really composed while she told a beautiful life story. Ed gave the best talk that I have ever heard and paid a beautiful tribute to my grandma. Brendan, Maria, and Carlos sang an arrangement of I Know that My Redeemer Lives – holy cow, it was breathtaking!!!! Carlos sang the second verse by himself in Spanish and changed the words a little bit for example, “She has gone, our mansion to prepare…” It was so beautiful!!!! My dad dedicated her grave at the Orem City Cemetary. We took lots of pictures and shared many special moments as a family.

I finally feel that she has left the earth and is resting from her cares in a beautiful place with her many loved ones that have gone on before her. I of course have known that all along, but I just felt uneasy the first few days after she died. I didn’t feel like she had “arrived” yet and I was nervous for her current state. It wasn’t until I went with my mom to the mortuary 4 days later to give the ok on how she was dressed and done up that I finally felt at peace. I felt absolutely no connection to the body in the coffin and knew that it was because she was no longer here. It was a much needed answer to my prayers. It’s hard to explain because I never questioned where she was going, but I just felt like it is a process and it took her a while to get through it. It’s still really weird to think that she is really gone and that she won’t be coming back for Christmas like she always did.

I want to explain how Teta got her name to my future family who may never know me. I am the oldest of her grandchildren (yes, she LOVED me and SPOILED me my whole life!) My mom tried to teach me how to say "Abuelita" which is an endearing way of saying grandma in spanish. Well, I wasn't quite two and apparently my speaking skills weren't quite there either. I tried and tried but all that came out was "Teta." Somehow it stuck and the rest of her grandchildren and great grandchildren came to know her as Teta. My brother Ed starting shortening and pluralizing everyone's names when he was a teenager. Our Momma and Daddy became Moms and Dads and Teta became known as Tates! Whatever name she had, it still was said with much love and respect. What a wonderful woman she was and what a legacy that she left behind for us! She was ALWAYS thinking of others and never herself. She lived her whole life in the service of her family and friends and even strangers. It was just about two years ago that she was here and she went out and weeded my whole yard a little at a time a little each day. She would often ask me if I wanted her to make dinner for us (which how do you turn down an offer like that.) She never had much, but always gave everything that she had. She was the first generation to accept the gospel in my family. She left her home country to come to the US, recently widowed and penniless, to give her kids and future grandkids a better life. She supported herself and her family by using her amazing sewing skills. She sewed many dresses for me. A few of my formals she made from a little sketch that I would make up and then do it perfectly without a pattern! In her later years she worked helping people with their children and their household chores. Sometimes for money, sometimes just to help them out. Whatever she made, she used to buy things for her family...never anything for herself. She loved us all so much and always praised us and told us how proud she was of us. She was our number one cheerleader, always standing on the sidelines of our lives supporting us, loving us, and doing whatever she could behind the scenes to make our lives better. I'm really going to miss that! I will always love her and will never take for granted all of my blessings that I have because of her life. It was a wonderful life, and we will miss her terribly, but I know that she lives on and I will hug her again someday!

Leslie's Grandma

Email sent from Brendan to all of his family
From: Brendan Smith
Sent: Monday, October 23, 2006 12:54 pm
This morning at 12:14am Leslie’s grandma passed away at our home. We are still working on the details for her funeral but it will probably be this Saturday. It was a bit traumatic for the kids but they are doing fine. We are a little worried about Angie. She cared for religiously for over a year with very little sleep and is utterly worn out. This has hit her very hard. Keep us in your prayers.

Love Brendan

Thankful for so much.

A little update on Teta's condition….things are going from bad to worse quickly. The tumor in her abdomen has grown at such a fast rate, that it actually broke through her skin and has started oozing out a little each day. She asks for drinks (cold ones) quite frequently which is very unusual for her. Not only does she usually not want anything to eat or drink, but room temperature is even too cold for her most of the time. The nurses are shocked that she is comfortable because they said that most patients in her condition are in a lot of pain so they have brought pain medication just in case it starts up in the middle of the night. A dry mouth, they said, is very common at her stage and is why she is asking for frequent drinks.

I am grateful for the knowledge that I have of an eternal plan for all of us and that I know that Teta will be in a better place soon and that I will be with her again where she will be whole and well and active. I am especially thankful for the gospel that she accepted so many years ago and that through her I was given the opportunity to have it my whole life. She sacrificed so much so that the rest of us could live in a land of promise and opportunity. All that I have I owe to her and I will always treasure her for that. I’m so glad that her memory will always keep us close as a fmily. .I know that our Heavenly Father lives and that He loves each one of us and that He sent us to help each other in this life and together return to Him. I am also thankful for these trials and experiences that force us to remember that there is so much more to life than our daily routines and hectic schedules. That family is what matters and that we are all in this together.

Cousin to Cousin

An e-mail I sent to my cousin Veronica in Florida...
Hi Vero!
I really hope it works out for you to come out. Too bad that your whole family can’t make it, but I know exactly how that is. The only way we were all able to go to Florida was that Brendan had three frequent flyer tickets he had accumulated through work. Anyway, about Teta…there are great nurses that come in 3 times a day to help move Teta from her bed to the living room so she can be more with the family. They also change her and bathe her every other day. Well, a few days ago, they discovered a large grapefruit size lump right above her stomach. It’s red and it hurts Teta a little bit. They said that it’s a large tumor that has come back and is growing quickly every day. They said that at the rate it is growing, it will soon go up into her esophagus and make it almost impossible for her to swallow anything. Just this past Saturday, she started complaining about chest pains when she swallows and her food/drink intake has slowed down to almost nothing. There is nothing they can do at this point. Teta’s sister Carmen is coming from Guatemala on Thursday and I think your parents are thinking of coming by the end of the month. I really hope that it’s not too late by then. I’m not sure if Tony will come or not. I really don’t think he can handle all of this – emotionally. I know that it’s important to say goodbye --- the nurses (and Brendan’s mom who just lost her own mother six months ago) all say that a person will hold on suffering until relationships are mended and/or goodbyes are said and they are given “permission” to pass on. It's going to be hard since her family lives Florida, California, and Guatemala. I just hope we can get together to honor her, especially since there aren’t very many of us. Well, you do what you can and pass the word on to your family. I’ll keep in touch as much as I can.
Love you,
Leslie

Slowly shutting down

It looks like Teta's body is slowly shutting down and she is losing abilities and functions almost daily. She is completely bedridden now and cannot get up at all. My mom has to feed her because there is no way she can hold a spoon or cup. She has a very hard time swallowing and is only drinking a few sips a day through a spoon. She can only speak a few words at a time in a very quiet whisper. She still recognizes all of us, but is alert and awake so infrequently, that I don’t know how much she really sees of us. Thank goodness, she is not in a lot of pain, and is able to rest comfortably most of the day.

Gradual decline

It’s football season so that means we are extremely busy every single night and have 4 games a week to go to between two boys, plus Brendan coaches Jake’s team. We usually come together for dinner around 8:00 p.m. on non-game nights. It’s crazy, but we love it. Plus it’s my busy season with bows so if I’m not on the football fields, I’m doing bows. The kids are all at ages where homework is pretty demanding and I’m glad I only have 3 to worry about. I don’t know how moms do it with large families.

I’m afraid that Teta is not doing well at all. She sleeps most of the time now and has a VERY hard time eating anything. She pretty much only has a few spoonfuls of soups, oatmeal, and Ensure and even that she has had a very hard time keeping down these past few weeks. She used to go outside and get some fresh air in the backyard, but she isn’t able to walk more than a few steps now. She got a little walker to help her, but she doesn’t have the energy to move around very much. Her care now is no longer a matter of recovery. We just try to keep her as comfortable as possible and know that she doesn’t have much time left with us. Her mind is still good, when she is awake and alert so that is great, but it’s such a helpless feeling knowing that there is nothing left to do that could make her well again. I honestly NEVER IN A MILLION years thought that my grandma would go this way. She has always been such a strong and healthy and active person. Always full of energy and running around helping people. I know that we have all been blessed in our lives because of her sacrifices and for that I am truly thankful.

Explanation

I have been so bad about journaling, but I feel that I really need to document these next few months before the feelings and details get lost through the years. My only grandparent that I have ever known, my sweet Teta, was diagnosed with stomach cancer back in November 2005. My parents were in California to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and my brother's family and she got extremely weak and sick. They took her to the hospital and everything showed her having advanced stomach cancer. She had been sick off and on for quite some time, but never went to the doctor because she was too busy helping other people. They brought her to Utah to live with us since she lived pretty much on her own in California and couldn't take care of herself with this condition. It was so weird for me to see her like this. She never learned how to drive a car and therefore she walked everywhere. She was so strong and energetic. We really thought she would outlive us all. This cancer really destroyed her strong body quickly. She had surgery back in February to remove much of her stomach and the cancer. It seemed to have been successful, but the cancer had spread on a cellular level to other organs and there isn't much hope left for a recovery other than a miracle. My amazing mom has been taking care of her since then pretty much 24/7. It has felt like a very long and hard road, and I am starting this because it seems to be coming to an end very soon.