The Invisible Mom

So here's the dilemma:
A child forgets to take a very important assignment to school in the morning.
Here are three ways of dealing with it: (Can you match one of my kids to each response?) Maybe you have some of these same kids at your house.

Child #1: MOM!!!! I need you to bring me my paper right now! It's on the floor by the back door next to my sweats, jacket, dirty socks, etc. It's worth half my grade and it's due in 10 minutes!

Child #2: Mom, do you think you can bring my assignment to school sometime today? It's not due until 4th period. I'm so sorry that I forgot it. If you can't that's ok. I'll talk to my teacher and see what I can do.

Child #3: Assignment? What assignment? I didn't even know we had a paper due today.

If you guessed them by birth order, you were right. Oh, some days I want to call it quits, and other days I love them so much that I'm brought to tears just thinking of them. My sister in law emailed this incredible story about mothers. I really needed it that day (thanks, Cindy) and so I now pass it on to all the hard working moms who need a pat on the back sometimes.

The Invisible Mother
"It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask me a question.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women."

Dinner at it's best

I found this photo on my camera and thought I'd post the story behind it. Several weeks ago, I had yet another extremely crazy day and had to run out the door to take Jake and his friends early to football practice so I could be at the high school by 4:30 to help serve the weekly Team Dinner for the high football players. So much easier to help than be in charge.

So I threw something together in 10 minutes for my family and texted Brendan, "Nothing like a nutritious meal of frozen fish sticks and macaroni and cheese after a long day at the office!" Don't overlook the pre-packaged salad. I know to some this may look fine, but I grew up with a mom who cooked three HOT meals a day and NOT from a box. On days like today, I think to myself, "Oh, what would my mom think?" Have I mentioned, I REALLY HATE TO COOK! If we ever hit the jackpot, I'm hiring a chef. Forget a maid...I'll scrub toilets and vacuum the whole house anyday over cooking. I actually enjoy baking, but there's something about making meals that frustrates me to no end. Probably the fact that it takes so long to make it and then it's inhaled and gone in 5 minutes or I get the faces that only picky eaters know how to make! Allison has only three things on her "like" list: Beans, Cheese, and Chocolate, not together of course.

I have been thinking a alot about my mom lately. She and my dad are half way through serving their mission. I miss talking to her every single day...I have never gone more than a month without seeing her, but it's great to be able to email whenever I want. Our entire family terribly misses her mouth-watering Sunday dinners too! I am so thankful for having been raised by such incredible parents who sacrificed every single day so that we didn't have to. I love them and I miss them. And on days like today, I know that I'll never be able to measure up to my mom, but I'm thankful to have her example to help me reach a little higher each day.

Halloweens Past

In honor of Halloween I added my favorite "spooky" song, don't know the name of it but it's the one from Disneyland's Haunted Mansion ride. Just hearing it puts me back to the happiest place on earth!
I hate the fact that kids keep growing up! Halloween just isn't as cute with teenagers. No more family group themes, no more school parades, no more taking them trick or treating (well, that one I can live without). So to add some "cuteness" to my blog, I will revisit Halloween Memory Lane.Cuteness pretty much ended there. Not really sure how Igor, Dracula, and Baby Bop go together but look at Allison's cute little face! Oh well, we try to still have a little fun with big kids now. Here are a few photos from a year or two ago minus the "cuteness" factor.A tradition is to have a crazy meal to celebrate the night. Last year I made Oven Baked Chicken "Witch hands."

Straight teeth coming soon

Remember straightening a paper clip in attempt to make a pretend retainer? C'mon, admit it. I know I wasn't the only one. Instead of being grateful for straight teeth, I was always a little jealous of my friends with shiny silver in their mouth. Now Allison gets to live out my childhood dream.

The Dr. said she'll need her braces for about 14 months. I'm sure the top thing on her Christmas list next year will be to get them off. Her bottom braces will be put on in a few months once the top teeth move out of the way a little bit. So far, she's been great with just a little Tylonel. We're really proud of what a trooper she's been because Allison usually makes it very well known when she is in the slightest bit of pain. Her lips and mouth have done just fine dealing with the sharp brackets. Her biggest dilemma of the whole process was trying to decide what color rubber bands to get.
She chose purple, of course!

"Come What May and Love It"

As soon as I heard this talk in conference I knew I would use this quote for the title of this last game post. I think the anticipation leading up to Jordan's last game was much worse than the actual event (in my opinion anyway). Jordan would probably disagree.

A few of us "Senior Moms" scrambled all day to make this last game day just a little more special than normal. It was crazy for me because I had to also drive Allison all the way down to dance at Timpview High School in the middle of all the prep. work, but Brendan's mom and dad came to rescue and were so great to pick her up afterward and bring her to the stadium so that I didn't have to miss any of the actual game.

We all tried to be positive, but we knew that a win was mostly likely not going to happen as we were playing Pleasant Grove who were already the region champs and had only lost one game all year. But that wasn't the point of the night. Again, Jordan would disagree, but since I'm the one writing this blog, you get MY perspective.

There really isn't much about the actual game to be excited about so I'll focus on the other stuff through the following photos.

Last team dinner.

Jordan sat by his "brothers" and by Janice who is adored by everyone. She has been their trainer (physical therapist) for the last 3 years and is the one responsible for taping them, icing them, massaging them, and being a great friend. They call her the miracle worker.

End of the year baskets given out to the whole team.

Thanks so much for Macey's for sponsoring the team.

Jordan and Kaden Jones (the back up soph. QB).

Great friends and two of the best looking boys on the team, according to me and Kaden's mom, anyway. Whenever anything bad would happen in a game, Kaden's mom would lean over and say, "At least they're still cute!" I'm going to miss my stadium mom friends.

At half-time, all the senior boys were escorted back to the field by their parents. It was such a proud, but sad moment for Brendan and I. As team captain, Jordan got to lead out first.

Each senior gave their mom flowers and a little smooch and then they received a black duffel bag with Lehi Football, their name and number embroidered on it. There are 31 graduating members of the team and it took the whole length of the field to line everybody up.

Tears of love and sadness starting coming out of everyone's eyes after the game. The team huddled together one last time under the "L" for a photo. I tried to take a few more personal photos, but most came out too dark or blurry. There weren't too many smiles on any faces.

These last two photos probably mean the most. Jordan and Bo have been really close since 6th grade tackle football started (back in the day there was only flag football until 6th grade). Jordan was always the quarterback and Bo was the center so their teamwork was essential to every game. Don't ask me why Bo took off his jersey. He's the nicest kid ever and not the scary dude that appears in the photo. Bo's Dad also coached them, along with Brendan, from 6th to 9th grade so this friendship is extra special. And then the last photo is tender because it's of Jordan walking off the Lehi field for the last time.

We still have the team banquet for all the players and their parents to plan and look forward to next month, but the main part is all over. The worst part is not being able to say, "See you all next season."

We have had many talks with Jordan about his future plans and he's not sure if he is going to pursue college football. Of course that would be his dream, but at this point he's not sure if his main objective is to play football just anywhere or if he is ready to put it behind him as one of the best experiences of his life. His coach and the recruiters have said that he has the talent and the grades to get a full ride scholarship playing football, but most likely not at the in state universities. The problem lies in the fact that those out of state schools will not hold a football scholarship for him for two years while he serves a mission. We're proud that he has made that his next priority. That is, after he starts concentrating on his upcoming debate tournaments, AND after he plays another season of basketball on the city and ward levels, AND finishes out his last season of running high school track. He's currently applying to BYU, U of U, Utah State and Snow. There's always a slight chance of getting on a team as a walk-on. We'll see. But whatever happens, we'll all all just try to live by Elder Wirthlin's words, "Come what may and love it.” Thanks to everyone who made it out to his games, for your awesome supportive comments, and for sticking through reading my blog football post after football post. Normal life has now resumed at the Smith home--well, whatever normal is.

Jordan's last game

This picture says it all....

I added "Lean On Me" to our playlist to honor their team theme song. I will post all the details later.

Happy Birthday to my Dad!

Today is my Dad's birthday and I wish I could give him a hug and say "Happy Birthday Dads!" But I'm not even sure how to get a hold of him as they are traveling around Colombia visiting with Stake Presidents all over the country this month and next. Today also marks their half way point on their mission. So in honor of my Dad, I thought I would write the top 10 lessons I've learned from him so far.
10. Life is too short to not take vacations.
9. Always look on the bright side of things and on the good side of people. Stay positive and good things will happen.
8. If you're tired, take a nap.
7. One of the main purposes of life is to spoil your grandkids.
6. There is absolutely nothing more important than FAMILY.
5. Nothing learned in life is a waste...not even math! He had to say that sentence to me over and over again when I was in high school taking Trigonometry.
4. Speaking kindly, even when disciplining, goes a long way.
3. The key to a happy marriage is to love your spouse more than yourself.
2. When you have kids, never EVER book a hotel unless you have made sure that it has a pool!
1. And in spite of my incredible Dad, I've learned that patience is a virtue...especially while waiting to be seated in a restaurant. Right, family?

I love you Dads. I hope that when you read this, you'll know how much I love you, miss you, and appreciate ALL the many sacrifices you have made in your life to make mine better. You are the best and we are all so blessed that get to call you Dad and Grandpa! Hope your day was great!~

Tonight is it

I’m such a baby. I’ve been misty eyed all morning. Tonight is Jordan's last football game, most likely forever! They’re doing a thing at halftime to say good-bye to all the Senior players and we, as parents, are escorting our boys on to the field. I may not make it through it all…..

Triple Deckers

We just happened to be staying at the same hotel in St. George as our friends/neighbors the Campbells. So we met up for breakfast and then it was time for some pool fun.

This is what a few suds in a hot tub does to people...

And the winners of the chicken fight are....

Jake's triple decker!

Demi's triple decker!

And after many attempts...
Jordan's quadruple decker!!!!

Tuachan

We spent the weekend of Fall Break having a ball . It was SO MUCH FUN to be all together...talking, eating, sleeping...24/7. We just don't get that much time with all 5 of us anymore. We weren't able to join my brothers in California for our traditional Fall Disneyland trip :( , but we made it as far as St. George.

We got tickets to see Saturday night's closing performance of Les Miserables at Tuachan. It's our absolute favorite play and no one does plays better than Tuachan. We weren't disappointed. WOW! It was amazing. We have seen it numerous times and know how it ends, but I was bawling the whole time. Jordan kept teasing me about it. It was dark and we couldn't see each other so he would just reach over and touch my cheeks during the sad parts and say, "Yep, still crying!" Oh, it was just so good, I wish I could describe it.

When we first got there, I wanted to stop and take a nice family photo in front of the huge red rock TUACHAN sign with the green grass and waterfall, but when I suggested it, I got a loud "NO!" (in unison) from everyone. Sheesh! I'm just trying to create memories, guys. Here are a few photos that I managed to get during the pre show....some with cooperation and some with obvious annoyance.

My two favorite actors/characters: Fontine and Jean Valjean

New Member of our family

Nicole and Liz came over today while Jordan was at work to ask him out to Sadie Hawkins. I was so happy that she didn't trash his room with confetti or cereal or other obnoxious stuff. Instead, she gave us a new little family member. Jordan got a fish on his first day of kindergarten that looked just like this one, so it will bring back fun memories. The poster reads, "Out of all the fishys in the sea, I picked you to go to Sadie's with me. Love.... ah you know who." We'll see what Jordan names it when he sees it tonight. Now, the challenge is how to answer back. Any clever ideas?

Lehi Homecoming week

This past week Lehi High School celebrated not only Homecoming week but it's 100 year old birthday. It started out with this fun surprise for Jordan on our door from the cheerleaders.

The team mom in charge of the dinner this week was out of control. She did a burrito/taco spread that would have put Cafe Rio to shame. Everyone got stuffed and then it was time for Banana Cream and Chocolate cream pies! Wow!

Jenny Dew, Marnie Stadel and I conspired together and snuck into the school's homecoming pep assembly Friday morning. How could we pass up the chance to see our Senior boys dressed up in cheerleader uniforms performing for the school? It was hilarious!

They learned a whole dance routine complete with stunts and lifts. It was more of a mess than anything, but hey, they're football players. Jordan and Brennan topped it off with sommersaults at the end. We were so bummed that we sat at the wrong side of the gym and only got the back side of their performance.

(To hear the video without my music in the background go up to the playlist and click on the first button of three on the top left.) I got the evil eye from Jordan when he saw me, but I'm sure he'll be glad to have the memory captured in photos years from now.

The funniest was seeing 255 lb. Bear (Dylan Stadel) in this tiny uniform. Here is a photo of him holding Jordan and Jordan who each way about 170 lbs. Love you guys!

It was wonderful to have a lot of our family come to the football game and support Jordan and the team. We've been SO lucky to have pretty decent weather for both of our boys' games. But last Friday it is was FREEZING!!! We came prepared, but it was still the coldest we've ever been at a game (and we have gone to a lot of games.) Kaden Jones, the back up quarterback was about to go in during the 4th quarter, but when the coach called for him, he discovered that he couldn't talk and was having a hard time breathing. Poor kid got hypothermia! He was taken into to locker room to warm up. The game went from bad to worse and we lost...again. We'll look on the bright side though...Jordan finally connected a touchdown pass to Jordan Dew. We have been waiting for a touchdown from Jordan to Jordan all season. Our Jordan took the snap for the PAT (since Kaden was frozen). It was a bad snap so he wasn't able to set the ball for the kicker. He did however manage to scramble out of a bunch of defenders and ran it in for two points. Those were about the only fun parts of the game, but we're over it now.

Jordan said the homecoming dance the next day was probably the most fun he's ever had at a dance. He went with a group of 16 which makes it that much more fun. We're proud that he was able to get one of his best friends to go on his first date ever! Great times and great memories! We're all having fun during "our family's" senior year. Yes, a big part of it is football, but the assemblies, activities, dances, and friends are what makes it memorable. We're just glad that Jordan let's us all be such a big part of it. Now Jake and Allison know to expect Mom with her camera at their Senior assemblies. Sorry...that's just part of life in our family.