It's who I am

I have been stressing out for a few months now over a vendor's exhibit I went to for a national Kid to Kid owner's meeting in Salt Lake this past Monday. And then this whole new law came out that really added to the stress. As far as that part goes, I have decided that I can afford to test a few samples of my ribbon and the other components only. It's up to me to do write up my certificate of compliance to my stores. They (Kid to Kid) are comfortable with that plan and then I will test a few more samples periodically throughout the year ($200-$300 each time) until I am comfortable that my products are lead free. I already know they are, but I have to PROVE it so that is my plan. The "letter of the law" is a little bit different, but after talking to several labs and actual employees of the CPSC, I feel comfortable in my decisions and will go forward with them, while crossing my fingers that current discussion about exempting fabrics and ribbon will be made into an ammendment.


As mentioned before, my bow business has been dwindling a little (well, actually a lot) these past few years. Being invited to have a booth of my products at this exhibit was a great opportunity, but I worried about the pros and cons until I was just about sick to my stomach.

If I did go, I might get a TON of business which is what most people would think the whole point is, but I do these bows all by myself. I don't have a warehouse and several employees whipping out bows for me. I know, I know....."Why not?"....you might ask. The potential to make a huge amount of money is right at my fingertips just waiting. But that is not my goal. My first priorities and commitments are to my husband and my kids. My friends and extended family are right behind them. My duties in my calling and service to my neighbors are also huge. I like having the time to cook dinner for my family each night (I said the "time" to cook, not the actual chore of cooking.) It's huge for me to go to each of my boy's football and basketball games and all the activities that go with that. I want to be able to be there to take Allison to dance in Provo twice a week. I want to be home when they get home. I want to be able to help with homework and projects. I want to be able to be there when they are home sick, even though they are old enough to take care of themselves now. I want to be there 100% for Brendan when he gets home so that he feels loved and needed and appreciated for his long days at work.

In my own little humble opinion, money is important for the necessities of life and a few comforts and I am so blessed and lucky to be married to a wonderful man who works hard to provide all of that and so much more for our family! For me, excessive amounts is NOT something that I long for. Sure it would be so fun to go on fabulous vacations and not have to save and budget for them for a year. Sure I would LOVE a closet full of new clothes (believe me I would REALLY LOVE that). Sure I would love to be able to write out a check to pay for college tuition in full for my kids. But those things wouldn't bring me the joy that I seek. I have been blessed with so much, but having the mental ability to give myself 110% at home and still have enough brain cells to juggle a real business is not one of them. I know that if I started a business that was making some serious money, I would NOT be any happier. In fact, I know that I would most likely be less happy because the things that bring me real joy would have to pay a price. In no way am I dogging any working mother out there or anybody who runs a successful business. I stand up and applaud you for being able to do that. I wish I could do that, but it's not who I am.


So as I sat there at my little Princess Bows booth at this exhibit, I made some observations about those around me, but especially about myself. There were real professionals there marketing all sorts of kid's products and there were some mom's like me just trying to make extra money. There were other bow vendors there....specifically this one lady from Texas that has pretty much dominated the entire bow business of Kid to Kid. She had two huge tables with thousands of bows displayed. She was giving each owner a bag to fill with whatever free samples they wanted. She was loud and in your face and a really good salesperson. She had everybody at her booth and she must have had at least $50,000 in orders placed with her. Contrast back now to me who sat there feeling like a fish out of water. My personality is so much the opposite of what every good salesperson should be. I had a decent display but this was an exhibit and so I didn't have quantities to sell. She was the only one that did that.

I had a few stragglers stop by and I got a few new customers and orders (3 to be exact that totaled a measely $1,100). But I am counting my blessings today because I accomplished all that I wanted to. I met with about 10 owners that I have been selling to for years, some of whom I had never met in person as their stores are not local. I solidified those relationships and am encouraged to continue business as usual with them. I'm glad to have a kind of friendship with just a few of the store owners and not a supplier/buyer relationship with everybody. I made just enough to cover the few odds and ends that we were hoping to pay off. A little more business would have been nice but I'm so glad that I will be able to continue doing business as usual and try to save up for desperately needed new carpet and couches in our family room this year. And that's just the way I would have wished the day to go.


I can't forget to be thankful for having been blessed to drive up to the Universtiy of Utah campus Marriott Hotel and back home in safety. It was slushy and it was snowy and I was taking deep breaths the whole time as I tried to conquer my fear of driving in heavy traffic on the freeway but I did it.


Man, I am such a whimp! I would never survive out

there in the real world. But that's ok. I am a wife. I am a

mother. I am a sister. I am a daughter. I

am an aunt. I am a friend. I have tears streaming

down my cheeks as I ponder what each of those roles

mean to me and the many people in my life that I love so

much! If I can just concentrate on trying to improve on

being better in those areas I am happy.